Joke

Corporate Buzz Words

Blamestorming:
Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

Body Nazis:
Hard-core exercise and weight-lifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn't work out obsessively.

Seagull Manager:
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, and then leaves.

Chainsaw Consultant:
An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.

Cube Farm:
An office filled with cubicles.

Prairie Dogging:
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

SITCOMs:
What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids. Stands for Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.

Starter Marriage:
A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property, and no regrets.

Tourists:
People who take training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs. "We had three serious students in class; the rest were just tourists."

Treeware:
Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material.

Xerox Subsidy:
Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

Alpha Geek:
The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. "Ask Larry, he's the Alpha Geek around here.

Assmosis:
The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

Irritainment:
Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example.

Percussive Maintenance:
The fine art of attacking an electronic device to get it to work again.

Vulcan Nerve Pinch:
The taxing hand positions required to reach all the appropriate keys for commands.
For instance, the warm re-boot for a Mac II computer involves simultaneously pressing the Control Key, the Command key, the Return key and the Power On key.