Joke

YOU MIGHT BE ADDICTED TO THE INTERNET IF...

Tech Support calls "You" for help...

You watch T.V. with the closed captioning turned on...

You have called out someone's screen name while making love to your significant other...

You keep begging your friends to get an account so "we can hang out"..

Three words: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome

You want to meet a girl/guy and your first impulse is to turn on your computer...

You've ever gotten onto an airplane just to meet some folks face to face...

You have to get a second phone line just so you can call Domino's...

You have ever joined "Si habla Espanol" (Spanish chat room) "just to work on my Spanish"...

You've ever typed "drinking on-line is better than drinking alone"...

You go into labor and you stop to type a special e-mail letting everyone know you are going to be away...

You have a vanity car tag with your screen name on it...

You no longer type with proper punctuation, capitalization, or complete sentences...

You begin to say "LOL" instead of laughing...

When someone says "What did you say?" you reply "Scroll up!"...

You turn down the lights and close the blinds so people won't know you are on-line again...

You know more about your on-line friends daily routines than you do your own spouse's...

You change screen names so much that you have to get your profile to see who you are (identity crisis here)...

You're broke, your modem burns out and you go out onto the streets to sell your body to get a new one...

You open your home to 15 strangers for a week merely because they have computers and cool screen names...

Your kids are standing at your side saying "mommy, please come cook dinner" and you would rather type another "LOL"...

You marry your cyber boyfriend/girlfriend and you both sit at your own computers and chat to each other every night from across the room...

You type messages to people while you are on the phone with them at the same time...

You won't work at a job that doesn't have a modem involved...

You have to ask what year it is...

You are doing things more and more that you swore you would never, ever do when you first found chat...

You name your pets after people you talk to on-line...

You smile sideways...

You have a map on the wall with red thumbtacks to mark where people you have met are...

You look at an annoying person off-line and wish you had your ignore button handy...

Being called a newbie is a *MAJOR* insult...

You double click your tv remote...

You can now type over 70 wpm...

You go into withdrawals during dinner...

You spend at least 30 minutes making sure you say goodbye to everyone in a room...

You have gone into an unstaffed tech support room and ended up "giving" tech support to other USERS...

You have to be pried from your computer with the Jaws-of-Life...

Your last sexual experience was really just a "textual" experience...

You find yourself lying to others about your time on-line and when they complain that your phone was busy you claim it was off the hook...

You have an identity crisis if someone else is using a screen name close to your own...

You would rather tell people your bloodshot eyes are from partying too much instead of the truth (all night on-line)...